Mother's Been!
The last few days have been a bit of a trial. Not only have I been working long hours but we've also been busy in the garden and Mother's been!
I had a day off in between long hours of work on Sunday. It was lovely. I stayed in bed for the entire morning generally bumming around and reading and then I got up and spent the entire afternoon playing with plants in the garden. It was so peaceful! The birds were twittering in the trees, it was pleasantly warm and me and Mr J. were working side by side in perfect harmony putting plants in the garden, edging the borders and breaking up soil. Like I say, lovely.............................. Until Neurotic Nellie and her oddly dysfunctional family came out next door. Oh dear. They're loons. I mean, she's a nice enough person to stand and chat to for 10 minutes or so but....... well lets just say that when it comes to brains she hasn't quite developed. Bless!
Anyway, as I was saying, they all came out for their afternoon garden play. Herself, her two kids, the boyfriend, her brother, the dog and her 5 cats. They have a ritual. She kicks the ball for the dog, he stands around looking helpless (the boyfriend not the dog), the kids play in the soil, she stands barking orders at him on how to watch out for the kids and then the whole cycle repeats itself. It all adds up to glorious summer fun. Oh, did I say fun? I meant noise. Actually no, it'a all one big, loud, irritating, shoot them all dead kind of racket.
The other day a brand spanking new table, chairs and lounger set complete with matching umbrella appeared. Looks like we'll be saying goodbye to peaceful summer days and evenings then!
Yesterday Mother turned up armed with yet another Easter Egg each for the kids. I try to keep her at arms length on a permanent basis but every so often she just sneaks through when my guard is down and I always end up wishing I had of made myself very busy. Yesterday was such a day. She turns up all happy and inside I can feel one of my headaches coming on. She was dragging with her a plastic dog on wheels. Actually it wasn't really a dog it was a box to store gardening tools in that very cleverly doubles as a seat. I'm not quite sure what purpose we will use it for but I'm sure she means well. They bought us a plant or two as well. That was nice. The garden is in dire shortage of plants. The thing is, it would be a whole lot easier all round if she would just leave the gifts and go back home. I know, that sounds selfish but you haven't met mother! With the gifts come the instructions on what to do, how to do it, when to do it, what it should be done with ..................... the list goes on. You see, in her eyes I am a dumb, helpless teenager who is totally incapable of doing anything without a whole list of instructions. I will be 37 this year!
Then we get the rest of mother. She comes in the house looking hopeful for a cup of tea and a sandwich. I managed to do the tea without scolding myself and cut the sandwich with a very sharp knife that didn't come with instructions and golly gosh I didn't even cut myself! Not a nick in sight! Phew, that was a relief then! It was a tense moment!
After she had had her appetite filled she then looked at my belly, the one I mentioned earlier that has a habit of popping out over the top of my jeans. She then poked me in the afore mentioned belly with "that look". Now, I wouldn't normally mind someone doing that. I can take a joke, a hint and all the rest of it without crying but you have to bear in mind that mother is probably 3 times the size of me! Ok, I'm exagerating, she's twice the size of me. And she goes to slimming club! How dare she poke me in the stomach and act as though she is slimmer of the year. When I mentioned this she just said that she didn't have a belly like that when she was my age! I've since been scouring through the old photo's I have to check if this is true. It's difficult to say because she seems to have cunningly disguised her belly in all of them. She does look a little chunky though! I bet she did!
I had a day off in between long hours of work on Sunday. It was lovely. I stayed in bed for the entire morning generally bumming around and reading and then I got up and spent the entire afternoon playing with plants in the garden. It was so peaceful! The birds were twittering in the trees, it was pleasantly warm and me and Mr J. were working side by side in perfect harmony putting plants in the garden, edging the borders and breaking up soil. Like I say, lovely.............................. Until Neurotic Nellie and her oddly dysfunctional family came out next door. Oh dear. They're loons. I mean, she's a nice enough person to stand and chat to for 10 minutes or so but....... well lets just say that when it comes to brains she hasn't quite developed. Bless!
Anyway, as I was saying, they all came out for their afternoon garden play. Herself, her two kids, the boyfriend, her brother, the dog and her 5 cats. They have a ritual. She kicks the ball for the dog, he stands around looking helpless (the boyfriend not the dog), the kids play in the soil, she stands barking orders at him on how to watch out for the kids and then the whole cycle repeats itself. It all adds up to glorious summer fun. Oh, did I say fun? I meant noise. Actually no, it'a all one big, loud, irritating, shoot them all dead kind of racket.
The other day a brand spanking new table, chairs and lounger set complete with matching umbrella appeared. Looks like we'll be saying goodbye to peaceful summer days and evenings then!
Yesterday Mother turned up armed with yet another Easter Egg each for the kids. I try to keep her at arms length on a permanent basis but every so often she just sneaks through when my guard is down and I always end up wishing I had of made myself very busy. Yesterday was such a day. She turns up all happy and inside I can feel one of my headaches coming on. She was dragging with her a plastic dog on wheels. Actually it wasn't really a dog it was a box to store gardening tools in that very cleverly doubles as a seat. I'm not quite sure what purpose we will use it for but I'm sure she means well. They bought us a plant or two as well. That was nice. The garden is in dire shortage of plants. The thing is, it would be a whole lot easier all round if she would just leave the gifts and go back home. I know, that sounds selfish but you haven't met mother! With the gifts come the instructions on what to do, how to do it, when to do it, what it should be done with ..................... the list goes on. You see, in her eyes I am a dumb, helpless teenager who is totally incapable of doing anything without a whole list of instructions. I will be 37 this year!
Then we get the rest of mother. She comes in the house looking hopeful for a cup of tea and a sandwich. I managed to do the tea without scolding myself and cut the sandwich with a very sharp knife that didn't come with instructions and golly gosh I didn't even cut myself! Not a nick in sight! Phew, that was a relief then! It was a tense moment!
After she had had her appetite filled she then looked at my belly, the one I mentioned earlier that has a habit of popping out over the top of my jeans. She then poked me in the afore mentioned belly with "that look". Now, I wouldn't normally mind someone doing that. I can take a joke, a hint and all the rest of it without crying but you have to bear in mind that mother is probably 3 times the size of me! Ok, I'm exagerating, she's twice the size of me. And she goes to slimming club! How dare she poke me in the stomach and act as though she is slimmer of the year. When I mentioned this she just said that she didn't have a belly like that when she was my age! I've since been scouring through the old photo's I have to check if this is true. It's difficult to say because she seems to have cunningly disguised her belly in all of them. She does look a little chunky though! I bet she did!
posted by Mad Woman | 12:44 AM
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