Keeping the Loons Indoors!

Well I never!

We have lived here for 3 years and 5 months and at last we have discovered an amazing way of preventing our dysfunctional, loony freaks of neighbours from coming outside! You see, ever since we have lived here, we have had to put up with her screeching and bawling at her kids, at her on/off boyfriend, at her sister, at the woman down the road............... the list goes on. If that's not bad enough, we have also had our peace and quiet shattered on many a lovely, sunny, peaceful day when we have been sitting in the garden, quietly reading and enjoying what little sunshine we get in this country, by bringing her freaky looking kids out into the garden for their afternoon play hour. So many times has my dear beloved been forced indoors by her harsh, irritating voice (she's German you know) when she does her usual and orders the kids around, stopping them from being the kids that they are, preventing their normal, intellectual growth by not allowing them to do anything more than pretty much stand still. This is usually complimented by constant, repeated threats of sending them back indoors if they so much as breathe! The eventual end result is........ yes, you guessed it.......... them being taken in for their bad behaviour, usually about an hour after they've come out, hence the afternoon play hour!
But we have stopped that! Oh yes! We have discovered how! We have taken up a little back garden leisure involving a bow, a set of arrows and a target, commonly known as Archery! Indeed, we have our own bows - the real thing I may add, not some toy - that shoot arrows at a pretty nifty pace into, and through, the target with the utmost, satisfying "THWACK!"
Now, my freaky, dysfunctional neighbour, the loon that she is, with her worrying, overprotective ways, has become a tad concerned at our new-found fun. So much so that the once three foot fence separating our two homes has suddenly turned into a whopping eight footer overnight without me having to lift a finger or put my hand in my pocket! Brilliant!
If I had of known that all it would take to hide her filthy, scutty garden was a bow and set of arrows then I would have invested much sooner! Such a small price to pay for an afternoons peace I think!
And it doesn't stop there! Oh no, the fence doesn't appear to be enough of a deterrent for our wayward arrows (which I might add have never ventured any further past the target than just to the sides of the very edge, but I digress.) It appears that just the sound of us sending our arrows to the target is enough for her to disappear sharpish, as we discovered today when she came out with the dog and promptly returned indoors the moment she heard the first healthy twang of the bow! Looks like we'll have to play outside a little more often, even if only to have the bow to hand to use the minute they step out!
I'd say we have a result. Maybe I will have to start shooting from the bedroom window now, just to see how high we can get that fence put up!